Regrets

With the time change, it's dark when I leave for work.  I don't like driving in the dark because the older I get the weaker my night vision becomes. To make things worse, there are a lot of hazards on one particularly dark road.  Deer dash out from nowhere, cars back out of their driveways, and things like lumber and cardboard boxes from a nearby construction site often litter the road.  So, I drive pretty slowly and try to stay mindful of what's happening around me.

This morning, as I drove along  I saw something up ahead lying in the middle of the road.  It appeared to be a large box, but as I got closer I saw that it wasn't a box at all, it was a small doe.  I slowed to a crawl afraid that she might run out in front of my car.  As I approached, my headlights lit the place where she lay in a puddle of blood.  She raised her head and looked at me.  Her brown eyes alive with fear and confusion. I stopped the car. She didn't try to run. She couldn't. She just lay there watching me. 

I didn't know what to do.  There wasn't any place to pull over safely.  Another car was coming up behind me, and I knew I had to move.  Tears gushed down my face as I drove.  I grabbed my phone and dialed 911. I described the emergency and location of the deer to the operator.  He promised to send an officer and animal control to rescue the little doe.

I sat a few minutes longer shaking and crying. I should have done more for her, but my fear for my own safety caused me to leave her there alone.  I've been very down all day.  Some people might not understand my sorrow over the life of one deer, especially when the area I live in is practically overrun by them, but she was one of God's creatures all the same, and she was beautiful.  She didn't deserve to die alone. No creature does. I wish I would've had the courage to save her.