Linda Kulp Trout

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Not Just Another "Auld Lang Syne"


Every New Year’s Eve, I sit down with my journal and reflect on the past year- successes and failures, joys and sorrows.  At midnight, I watch the ball drop in Times Square as the band plays, “Auld Lang Syne”  and cry. That song always makes me cry. It reminds me of friends and family I’ve lost and regrets from years past.

By New Year’s morning, I’m ready for a fresh start.  I sit down with a cup of tea and scribble the same old resolutions into a brand-new journal: lose 30 lbs., figure out what I should write, and work on gaining self-confidence.  I make a plan of action and feel sure I can do it this time. But, my first resolution is usually abandoned by the end of the day, the second within a week, and the third one never gets its start.

As each month ends in failure, I reword my resolutions breaking them down into smaller ones so they’ll be easier to achieve. I tell myself a litany of excuses: I don’t have time to exercise, I need to learn more before I can start a writing project, I don’t have any willpower, and so on. You’ve heard the saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Well, that’s pretty much, what I was doing, and it took thirty long years to realize it.

2011 was a year of change. I finally realized I had to do things differently.  My health and happiness were at stake. It wasn’t easy, but I tackled one goal at a time. I set new priorities. There were setbacks and times I felt like giving up, but I didn’t.  I just kept going until I achieved what I set out to do. I had been looking for answers outside myself.  When I changed my thinking, things began to fall into place.

This year, when I sit down with my journal, I’ll write about how good it feels: to lose over forty pounds, to work on writing projects I love, and to feel a little more confident.  As the ball drops in Times Square, and the band plays “Auld Lang Syne,” I’ll still cry for loved ones love we lost, but I won’t cry tears of regret.  I do have one small problem, now I need to come up with some new resolutions. 
You can listen to a lovely Scottish version  of "Auld Lang Syne: here.

If you'd like to read more about the poem, go here.

(I've been away from blogging for several months, and Blogger has made a lot of changes. I tried to get the video on here but couldn't get it to work. I apologize for having to send you to the link.)