Linda Kulp Trout

Thursday, March 12, 2020

TP Emergency

There was a video clip on the news last night showing people loading their carts and tussling over packages of toilet paper.  One woman with a cart that looked like the one in this picture chased another woman through the store after she took one of the packages. 

A clinical psychologist explained that buying tons of toilet paper helps people feel a sense of control and being prepared.  Hmmm.   I jotted a quick poem to share today. I hope it makes you smile. 

TP Emergency

Don’t walk.

The TP emergency
has begun.

Buy a roll.
Buy a case.
Buy every package
in the place!

Cotton soft
or bamboo,
in a pinch—
either will do

One -ply, two-ply
three-ply, four.

Double up
if you need more!

The emergency
has begun!

Grab your TP!


©Linda Kulp Trout

A big thank you to Matt at Radio, Rhythm and Rhyme for hosting today.


  1. Thank you for creating something fun and joyful out of the Great TP Crisis of 2020. xo

  2. Hahaha--I love your listing of the various kinds of TP. I only learned a couple of weeks ago that there was such a thing as bamboo toilet paper. Here's hoping we don't really need a stockpile!

  3. Linda, this poem made me laugh but also made me wonder if I should get to the store ASAP!

  4. Appreciate the levity of your poem -- I understand the psychological need to hoard, but really wish people wouldn't. Thanks for the smile today.

  5. Linda: Great poem. Went to store yesterday, old men yelling nastiness in the parking lot. Whoa... Just noticed you are a NWP consultant. Me too!

  6. Man! That is quite a photo. I wonder if they bought everything *else* they will need? (People fighting over TP makes it seem like stores should limit purchases so no one hoards!)

  7. That photo is unbelievable! Wow! Thanks for a light-hearted poem about the TP craziness. My sister told me there's a run on bidets now! :o

  8. Hilarious, and true! I was at the store today & one of the checkers told me that a bunch of boxes were on their way to the proper aisle when by the time he got there, they were empty! People grabbed fast on the way! Our stores seem to be limiting some purchases, but not TP. Guess they'll continue receiving shipments! Thanks for the laugh, Linda!

  9. Thanks for the laugh! I tried to buy TP today but failed. Not to stock up... but because we're almost out. Uh oh.

  10. Your poem falls into the category of funny, not funny! I went to the store today to do my usual Saturday grocery run. I've been reading about the shelves being almost bare, but I was stunned to see it first hand. The toilet paper aisle had two packages. I took one, because we are almost out, but left the second for another deserving soul...Yikes!

  11. There are aspects of this whole pandemic thing that could have been predicted, but NOT the TP aspect. Thanks for writing about it!