A New Year, A New Blog

For years, I've written my thoughts, joys, and frustrations about writing in my journal. After looking through some of the entries, I started wondering how other writers handle the ups and downs of the writing life. There's so many questions I wish I could ask them.
Journals are great, but they are usually private so I decided that this year, instead of writing in my journal about my writing experiences, I'll blog about them. I'm hoping other writers will join in to share their thoughts and experiences so we can learn from each other. I named the blog Word-by-Word because this year I'm focusing on taking small steps to accomplish my goals. I hope you'll stop by.

Welcome to Word-by-Word! The beginning of a new year seems like the perfect time to try something new. Writing is mostly a solitary act, and sometimes we feel alone in our experiences. As someone who is still learning about the craft and business of writing, I wanted a place to share random thoughts and connect with other writers. My hope is that the blog will be interactive with an exchange of ideas and support. If you have an aspect of writing you'd like us to discuss, please leave a message in the comments section, and I'll include it in an upcoming post. I hope to hear from you!

Writing and Self-Doubt

Most days when school is in session there's little time to do anything except school work and household chores. This holiday season, thanks to the blizzard, I've had two weeks off from school. The perfect time to get some writing done.

Every morning I told myself that I'd block out some time for writing, but the days passed with very little time spent writing. It seemed like there was always something else that needed my attention. It often happens this way, when I have a lot of time to write, I don't. Now, with only two days before I return to a busy teaching schedule, I'm questioning why I haven't worked on any of my projects.

Is it because I don't really want to write? I don't think that's it. I make time to write in my journal almost every day. I write emails to friends and family. I write poems, stories, and essays to use in my classroom (not great pieces of literature, but they serve the purpose.)

Am I just being a lazy procrastinator? Hmmm, maybe, but anytime I have a deadline to meet (writing or otherwise), I always finish early. I just finished a work-for-hire project where I wrote 30 short poems (4-6 lines each) in about 3 weeks. It was an assignment. I signed a contract. It had to be done, so I got right to work. In fact, I've had a number of poems and essays published, but almost all of those were "assignments" with deadlines.

Am I someone who wants to "have written" instead of actually doing the writing? I don't that that's it either. When I finally get started writing, I'm totally immersed in it and lose all track of time.

So what is keeping me from accomplishing my writing goals? Could it be the fear that I'm really not very good at writing? Every time I start working on one of my "projects" Self Doubt jumps up on the keyboard and growls, "Who do you think you are? Look at the great poems and stories other people are writing. You're wasting your time. No one wants to read your writing, leave it to the professionals!"

Suddenly, my mind is paralyzed just like the day I had a panic attack and couldn't make a left-hand turn on a busy intersection. Car horns blared , a man in a pick-up truck shouted obscenities out of his window, and my two young sons in the back seat begged me to, "Go!" I couldn't think. I couldn't move. Writing feels like that sometimes.

Funny, how it never happens when I write in my journal or emails or poems just for me. No one judges that kind of writing, do they? No worries about looking foolish or embarrassing myself for not using enough imagery or the right words. I just write for the joy of it.

So, here I am on New Year's Day with big dreams of writing poems and stories that inspire and encourage young readers. I've tried to move on to something else and give up my dream, but the writing bug won't let go.

How do I overcome self-doubt and get on with the writing? Would I be happier keeping my writing to myself? Will I ever know if my writing is truly good enough for others to want to read? These are the questions I need to answer for myself.

Have you ever struggled with feelings of self-doubt? If so, I'd love to know what you've done to overcome it.

You can read about how another writer deals with self-doubt here.

Beginnings

A New Year Begins

Like a field of fresh fallen snow
sparkling
with possibilities

unblemished, unspoiled, unbroken
magic—
gone too soon.


Happy New Year!
May all of your hopes and dreams come true!

You can read other poems about beginnings and endings here.

Thinking Ahead

Every Dec. 31 I write personal and professional goals that I plan to accomplish during the new year. Actually, it's more like revising the ones I didn't accomplish the year before. It's embarrassing to admit that I've had the same goals for years and years. I start out determined and inspired, but I never quite get there.
Well, I think I've finally come up with an action plan that will work. It's so simple. I've used this strategy to plan my teaching goals for the last 3 yrs. I don't know why I never made the connection to the goals I set for myself.

At the beginning of every school year, our faculty formulates SMART goals. You've probably already heard of this strategey, but in case you haven't, here it is in a nutshell. SMART is an acronym for:
Specific
Measureable
Attainable
Relevent
Timely

So, instead of my usual goal of improving my writing skills, my SMART goal is:

• attend our local spring writing conference
• enroll in an online poetry class this summer
• write for two poems each week
• read at least 3 poems every day
• read a book on writer's craft once a month

I have other writing goals too, but the "improving my writing" goal must come first.

What about you, what are your writing goals for 2010? How do you plan to accomplish them?

POETRY FRIDAY

Last week, my students wrote poems and made holiday cards for our soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. I was proud of the gratitude and support my students showed toward the soldiers. The activity brought back memories of Vietnam and how our soldiers were treated so poorly.

I was in the military during the Vietnam War. I was never sent to combat, but I had several friends who were. This is a poem I'm working on in rememberance of a friend who was drafted and sent to Vietnam.

What He Lost

Celebrated
and congratulated,
hometown hero
of our high school
football team—

My best friend,
barely eighteen
was drafted
to the big league--
Vietnam.

He didn’t want to go,
but his country needed him,
always a team player—
he did what he had to do.

Two years later
he came home
harassed,
an outcast
disdained by the town
that once loved him.

No thanks
No welcome home
No ticker tape parade
All he had left were
scars so deep
no one could see—
permanent reminders
of what he lost
in Vietnam.

Wishing all of us peace on earth.

Happy Holidays!

Linda

Gifts From the Heart Not the Store

I don't usually blog during the week, but an email arrived today that I just had to share from Poets.org.

I'm always looking for ideas to help my students give the gift of their poetry. We've done chapbooks, posters, cards, poetry cubes, poetry mobiles, pictures using items from nature, etc., but I never thought of a poetry snowglobe or poetry ornaments.

If you're looking for some great ideas for last minute gifts that come from the heart, take a look at the "Do-It-Yourself: Holiday Poetry Activities for Kids."

What other ideas do you have for sharing gifts of poetry?

POETRY FRIDAY:Poetry Stretch and Word of the Month

This week I participated in the The Miss Rumphius Monday Poetry Stretch. The challenge was to write a poem about time. I've been thinking about time a lot lately. You see, my first grandchild is due in May. I can't believe my son is going to be a dad. Not so long ago, he was a just baby himself. Okay, that was 31 yrs. ago, but it sure doesn't seem that long. He and his brother grew up much too fast. Now they are starting families of their own. What fantastic dads they're going be! This poem is for my son, Tim and his little one.

To My Unborn Grandchild

It wasn’t so long ago
that your daddy
was a baby—

my baby

Even before he was born
I knew I would love him
forever.

From the first time
the nurse placed
your daddy in my arms
I wished he would stay little,
forever.

I wanted to watch him sleep
and read him stories,
touch his tiny toes,
and listen to his first words
forever.

But only love lasts
forever—
babies grow up
much too fast
and soon your daddy
became a young man,
a young man
who dreamed of a baby
of his own.

Now he’s waiting
for you to arrive—
so he can watch you sleep
and read you stories,
touch your tiny toes
and listen to your first words.

He already knows
he’ll love you
forever

and
so will I.

Love, Grandma

You can read more of the "time" poems here.

I also wrote a poem for David L Harrison's Word of the Month challenge. The word this month is bone. There's still time to play. Check it out here.

I never knew my father, but I used to imagine the things we'd do together if he ever came back home. Somehow, even in my dreams, he never stayed.

Wishes

After dinner
Mom asked if I
wanted to break the
wishbone with her.

When I said, “No.”
She didn’t say anything
but I could tell
she was hurting.

I was hurting too
remembering how
you and I shared the wish-
bone every Thanksgiving.

You’d always laugh,
wrap your fingers tight
around your half
and pretend to snap it
before I was ready.

But then you’d
let me win
so I could make
my own special wish.

Well, I’m older now,
and since you left
wishbones
have lost their magic.

So what good are they?
Wishes don’t come true,
do they,
Dad?