It's no secret that I love Japanese poetry forms. While tanka, haiku and renga have gained popularity in recent years, choka is relatively unknown. A choka is structured in the repeated pattern of 5-7-5-7-5-7-5......7-7. Many choka are more than 100 lines long. You can read more about the choka form here.
Here is my attempt at a choka.
calico kitten
in the woods behind our house
hungry, shivering—
in the woods behind our house
hungry, shivering—
bone thin, barely alive—
afraid she might die
I wrapped her in my jacket
carried her inside
gave her warm milk, my blanket
and a promise— to love her.
carried her inside
gave her warm milk, my blanket
and a promise— to love her.
Although I tried to stick fairly close to the pattern in order to model the form for my students, I'm not happy with the last two lines. Following a structure too closely can detract from the meaning of the poem. I can't think of how I want to revise it right now, , so I'll let it rest a while.
photo: KatRya flickr.com